Updated: Nov 28, 2021
This topic has been popping up over the past couple of weeks, so I thought it was time to put some words on paper.
Self-Care is something I’ve struggled with and neglected for most of my 20’s, with the assumption that all time should be spent ‘being productive’, aiming to do the most, and be the best at whatever I put my mind to; and that giving myself a break would be a waste of precious time. However, this naive assumption quickly led to stress, burnout and anxiety.
With life experience, listening and learning I now understand the importance of self-care. I used to feel guilty when taking time to rest, but now acknowledge that self-care is not something that can be ignored, it’s essential to keep my body and mind functioning in a healthy way.
Resistance to self-care has always confused me; why do I find it hard to slow down? A couple of things I’ve listened to lately have made it all become a little clearer, and I wanted to share incase it might help you too.
We all have the same number of hours, minutes, seconds in the day. Yes, we have different responsibilities and different circumstances, but generally speaking we decide what we do with this time. Setting boundaries with our time is so important, and I think this is something we often lack, due to not wanting to say no, or the constant desire for more. A personal example involves taking the step into self-employment, there is no distinction between which days I work and don’t, there is work to be done 24-7, and its up to me to set the boundaries - which is extremely difficult.
Lack of boundaries, and ability to protect our time means self-care often ends up at the bottom of the to do list, often running out of time for ourselves. I believe this is linked very closely to self-worth. Often the problem isn’t about fitting self-care activities into our daily lives, yes this is the ultimate goal, but its not going to happen until the self-worth mindset changes. The key is knowing that we all deserve time for self-care; to find space, to rest, to have fun, and not just when you really need to because you’re on the brink of burnout, but every single day, so you don’t get to that point.
Circling back to the beginning of this blog I’m learning that attaching self-worth to achievements or assets is very unhealthy, there’s always something to strive for and once achieved its quickly onto the next, on the never-ending strive for bigger and better. Self-worth needs to come from from within, accepting that we might not be perfect, and that’s ok, as long as we're kind, loving and our intentions are in the right place, we are human after all. Learning to love ourselves and be happy in our own skin is incredibly hard, but so important. In order to be the best version of ourselves we need to believe in our worth, and not hide behind the busyness; give ourselves down time to rest and pause, which in turn provides energy to experience moments of joy in the everyday, instead of letting them past by because we’re too exhausted.
“The only one who gets to decide your worth is you. It doesn’t come from your bank account of the number of friends you have. It doesn’t come from what someone else says you are worth. Its called self worth for a reason - it comes from you. It come from being yourself and being proud of who you are. It comes from being someone that you can count on and someone you love. The numbers will change with time, but what won’t change is who your are deep inside - beautiful, limitless, wonderful, creative, strong, capable - and that is where your worth comes from.”
Nikki Banas, Walk the Earth
Please let me know in the comments below if any part of this blog has resonated with you.
Ps…If you feel like you need to prioritise me time, I have two Yoga Retreats taking place Spring 2022, click HERE for full details.